Helping Your Family Adjust - Kids on the Move
Children have several worries about moving, many of which can be helped by talking to them and involving them in the process. Whatever the reason for the move, openness and honesty are essential. Children of all ages are usually capable of dealing with a move when given time, support and understanding.
Before the Move
- Maintain a positive outlook. Children pick up on parents' attitudes.
- Tell your children about the move as soon as you know, so they have time to adjust to the idea and say good-bye to friends. It is particularly important to explain why the move is taking place, so they understand the reason for the change.
- Children worry about fitting into the new school/neighborhood. If you travel without your child to the new city, take note of the other children in the neighborhood and talk about them when you return home. Look into any clubs or activities at the new location that fit your child's interests.
- Talk about the possibilities for your children in the new city, and if possible have them visit.
- Let your children be involved in planning for the new home. If feasible, let them go house hunting; if not, get their ideas ahead of time. Take pictures or videos, both inside and out, when you select something.
- Involve your children in packing their belongings. Allow them to carry special treasures (within reason) when you travel.
- Check the school schedule and enrollment requirements in your destination city. Each city report shows the local school board telephone number at the bottom of the page.
- Consider a sitter for moving day.
- For the trip to your new location, pack a special
moving kit for the child, i.e. coloring books, games, special foods. This will
help make moving special and enjoyable.
In The New Location:
- Try to keep the family schedule as normal as possible to give your child a sense of security in the new environment. If possible, take family pets along to keep things as stable as possible.
- Check out child care organizations carefully. Check references, make impromptu visits, and talk to other parents.
- If the new school curriculum is significantly different, be willing to seek a tutor for your child immediately.
- Ask school personnel and neighbors about car pools or public transportation for your child's extra-curricular activities.
- Younger children have an easier time entering a new school than older children. In either case, you can help by arranging for your children to meet someone they will see on the first day of school (preferably a neighborhood child or the child of a co-worker) so they don't feel completely estranged. Once done, however step back and let your children make their own friends.
- Make time for your child to talk about the new school, friends, etc. Children need to share their experiences.
- Encourage your child to invite new friends home so that you can meet them. Don't worry if they are not ideal; first contacts are very important and will pave the way for your child to eventually choose a suitable peer group.
- Allow your child some "quiet time" with no commitments. Relocation takes lots of energy and children need time to internalize changes.
- Plan excursions to familiarize your child with new places like parks, zoos, ice cream shops or theaters.
- Be patient. Roots grow slowly.
